What holds the self together after it’s been born through karma? In this week’s powerful class, we step beneath the surface of our constructed identities to explore the quiet architecture of the ego—its defense mechanisms, its patterns of protection, and its habitual strategies for survival. Drawing from Anna Freud’s foundational work and illuminated through the lens of Zen practice, we uncover how fear, shame, and avoidance become karmic habits… and how clarity, presence, and vow can transform them. This isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about meeting yourself fully. Join us for a deep dive into the hidden strategies of the self, and the liberating possibility of embodying your true nature.

What if the moment everything fell apart was actually your beginning?
In this compelling Dharma talk, Sensei Michael Brunner explores the “great death” of the self—and the raw, luminous life that follows. Drawing on Zen koans and Dōgen’s teachings, this reflection invites us to stop patching the past and instead step forward, fully present, in the daylight of our own awakening.

Sensei reflects on the recent loss of his brother, Daniel Brunner, to suicide.

“Forsakenness itself is part of the Way. It is a Dharma gate.
When we meet it fully—tears, trembling, and all—something profound opens.
Not escape, but transformation.”
— Hoshi Jinsen Vanessa Roddam

In this powerful and honest reflection, Genpō shares how meditation became more than a practice—it became a path through trauma, anxiety, and the quiet weight of daily life. From his early struggles with identity to his years as a first responder, this talk traces a journey back to presence, wonder, and clarity.

“Sometimes healing doesn’t come from figuring things out—
It comes from finally seeing that they were just stories all along.”

What happens when we stop chasing realization and simply stand where we are? In this talk, Sensei Michael takes us deep into the mountains with Hofuku and Chōkei, where a single gesture reveals everything—and nothing.

This is not a story about arriving. It’s a call to intention. A reminder that true practice isn’t hidden in mystery—it’s alive in every step, if only we show up!

Your mind jumps from thought to thought like a restless monkey—but who are you when the monkey is silent? In this kōan, Chuyu offers a striking image: a monkey at the center of a room with six windows, responding to every call. Sensei Michael Brunner unpacks how we get caught in our own narratives—and how to step beyond them.

A monk asks for directions. An old woman gives him a simple answer. But as he walks away, she remarks, “This good honest priest goes off that way too.”

What did he miss? What did she see? And why does Jōshū say, “I’ve seen through the old woman for you”?

When we seek too hard, we often overlook what’s right in front of us.

Go straight on.

Before a pilot takes off, they check the wind, the visibility, the conditions as they are—not as they wish them to be. Yet in life, we often rush forward without this same awareness. What happens when we stop resisting and start working with reality as it unfolds? The key to soaring isn’t perfect conditions—it’s skillful navigation.

What happens when we stop grasping for meaning? What remains when we let go of the stories we attach to our suffering? The answers are not found in ideas—but in direct experience. In this new Dharma talk, Sensei Michael Brunner explores Hekiganroku Case 20: Ryūge Asks Suibi and Rinzai.

From the moment we are born, we begin constructing a self—layer by layer, shaped by experiences, fears, and societal expectations. But what happens when we start to see through this illusion?

We don’t chant to summon something outside of us—we chant to awaken what has always been here. The Enmei Jukku Kannon Gyo is more than words; it is an invitation to step beyond hesitation and allow compassion to move through us.

To live by vow is to place our attention with intention, to meet suffering directly, and to transform it. But before we can do this, we must recognize what pulls us away.

We often cling to the illusion that we are nothing more than this physical body, bound by time and form. But next time you pass a cemetery, stop for a moment. Look—not because it is bad news, but because it is good news.

The Three Pure Precepts—Cease from Evil, Practice Good, and Practice Good for Others—are not rigid rules but a way of meeting life fully. Our judgments don’t just color reality—they become reality, shaping how we engage with the world.

Mumonkan Case 36 asks: If you meet a woman who has accomplished the Way, how will you greet her? The answer isn’t found in words or silence but in direct experience. When we truly meet what is before us, without hesitation, the gap between self and other disappears.

In Zen practice, compassion is not something we do—it is what we are. When Avalokiteśvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion, saw the suffering of the world, her head shattered under its weight. In response, she was reborn with a thousand arms, each bearing an eye in its palm. Eyes to see. Hands to act.

How often do we find ourselves wearing different masks—one for work, another for home, yet another for the sangha? These personas may seem harmless, but what happens when we hide parts of ourselves even from our own awareness? In this reflection, we explore the importance of aligning our inner and outer selves, bringing hidden aspects into the light of conscious awareness, and living with authenticity.

In this reflection, Sensei Michael Brunner shares how facing resistance—whether it’s the pull of the covers or the deeper habits of aversion—becomes the gateway to transformation. Learn how stepping into discomfort, both on and off the cushion, reveals the resources already within us to meet life with courage and clarity.

What is “Mu,” and why does it matter? In this reflection, we explore Joshu’s famous koan from the Mumonkan: “Does a dog have the Buddha nature?” Joshu’s simple response—“Mu”—is more than a word; it’s an invitation to go beyond our habitual thoughts and labels. How do we free ourselves from the fences we build with judgments and fears? How do we rediscover the vast openness of life?

“What about when sweeping out the dust, you see the Buddha?” Sensei Michael Brunner explores this timeless question from the 68th case of the Book of Serenity. Is the Buddha a concept to hold onto, or something far beyond? Through the interplay of Kasan and Sekisō’s responses, we explore the balance between practice and realization, relative and absolute, and the meeting point where life truly manifests.

When life feels like an endless cycle of appearances and disappearances, how do we find stability? In this teisho, we explore the subtle shift from concepts to direct experience, uncovering the boundless clarity that lies beyond the small self.

When the cold strips away our judgments, what remains is our true nature—compassionate, resilient, and ready to shine. Discover how embracing the essence of each moment transforms not just ourselves, but the world around us.

As we are following the tracks, deepening our practice, the glue that holds the small self together becomes less and less effectual and at some point, we catch a glimpse of our true nature.