Put it Down
As we settle into this retreat, spending time together in stillness, we begin to see what we carry—our judgments, stories, beliefs, and expectations. These aren’t just passing thoughts; they’re deeply woven into who we think we are. They shape our experiences, and in clinging to them, they pull us along, creating a world that fits the stories we tell ourselves.
In Zen practice, we talk about karma or conditioned consciousness—patterns of thought and habit that cycle through our lives, keeping us bound. These judgments, so tightly grasped, shape our world, leading us to repeat the same patterns of behavior. But here, in this space, we begin to recognize them and perhaps start to loosen our grip. We see that we are something much larger than these attachments.
Zen gives us tools to move beyond our discursive thoughts—the endless thinking and judging that cloud our view. Koans, for example, are not puzzles to solve but invitations to step beyond intellect, to enter our direct experience. They challenge our tendency to dissect and understand everything, leading us, if we’re willing, to put down our intellect for a moment and see what’s truly in front of us.
One case that invites us to meet life with an open hand is from the Shasekishu, known as the "Collection of Sand and Stone." In the 14th case, "Muddy Road," we meet Tanzan and Ekido traveling together in the rain.
The case goes like this:
Tanzan and Ekido, two monks, were once traveling together down a muddy road. It was raining heavily, and they came upon a young woman in a silk kimono, stranded, unable to cross an intersection. Without hesitation, Tanzan picked her up and carried her across the mud. Later, as they continued on their way, Ekido could no longer restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he said. “Especially not young and beautiful ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?” Tanzan replied, “I left the girl there. Are you still carrying her?”
In this story, we see how easily we become ensnared by rigid ideas of right and wrong. Ekido clings to a fixed notion of morality as something imposed from outside, while Tanzan acts from compassion, responding directly to what’s in front of him and then letting it go. This is a different kind of morality—not rigid or external, but alive and responsive, flowing from an open heart.
Dōgen, in his teachings on Uji or “being-time,” tells us that each moment is an expression of our entire being. Our thoughts and actions are not isolated but woven into a continuous, interconnected flow. Past, present, and future aren’t separate; they’re all here, alive in this very moment. When we cling to guilt or shame about past actions, we remain trapped, unable to fully show up for the present. But if we can release those judgments, we gain the full inheritance of the boundless present.
Ekido’s judgment of Tanzan shows how easily we can become ensnared by our fixed ideas. He’s bound by an external standard, missing the compassion in Tanzan’s action. But Tanzan, free from such constraints, responds with clarity and compassion, helping without hesitation and then moving on. This story isn’t a call to abandon our values; it’s an invitation to embody them fully and release the rigidity that often accompanies them.
In this retreat setting, we have a rare opportunity to press the reset button—to clarify our intentions and let go of what we’ve been carrying. With the quiet and simplicity here, we can examine our stories, judgments, and attachments, seeing how they shape our behavior. We understand that our thoughts inevitably manifest in our actions; how we think is how we act. If we’re constrained by guilt or shame, we’re unable to reach out and act from compassion.
So, take this opportunity. Don’t squander it. Step back, see what’s holding you back, and open yourself to the possibility of letting it go. Recognize that your judgments don’t define you and that your actions are the true expression of your being. In this way, we live from a place of wisdom, free to be compassionate, showing up fully in each moment, ready to transform suffering into joy.
